Monday 20 May 2013

It takes a village to raise a child

She sought me out amongst the white faces and raised her arms high. Instinctively, I lifted her into mine and smiled. She stared back, her face barely flickering, the whites of her eyes like two moons in a night sky.

Around us, the dancing continued. Pounding feet kicked up clouds of dust that in the morning we would discover had dyed our clothes a stubborn orange. Tumani Tenda blazed with life and rhythm and the clack of wood against wood.  

I had seen her dancing before she found me, her little legs moving fast and furious, her face a picture of peace and ease. She was not the only infant in the village who could keep a solid beat. Each child flowed with that natural ability. Later, while lying in our mud huts and encased by mosquito nets, we wondered aloud together if it was learnt or instinct.

She hardly moved in my arms, but hers locked tight around my neck like two snakes squeezing life. She could have only been three years old. I searched the pulsing crowd for any sign of a distressed mother but found none. Each face was content, each body relaxed in that familiar environment. It was infectious. I found myself swaying to the music.

There were children holding babies, their hands as capable as any adults. Silver bangles shone in the moonlight; sparks flashing in a fire.  

My bundle began to wriggle in my arms and I set her down sadly, instantly missing the weight of her despite the ache in my shoulders and arms. She was swallowed up by the crowd but I felt no concern; this was her home, her village, her family.

I was reminded of the African proverb that says it takes a village to raise a child. I understood it now and enjoyed the fact that I could not locate a single, distinct mother and child amongst the people of Tumani Tenda. Each woman was mother, sister, aunt. Each man father, brother, uncle.

When she sought me out a second time, and raised her arms to be lifted again, I realised she had chosen to seek motherly comfort in me that night. To her, I was not a guest in that place, I was a member of the village, and for one night I could have a hand in raising her.   

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